Phase 1: Prepare the Red Velvet Custard

1. Whisk the Dry Ingredients: In a wide, shallow dish (like a pie plate or baking dish) large enough to fit a slice of bread comfortably, whisk together the granulated sugar, unsweetened cocoa powder, and salt. Breaking up any cocoa lumps now prevents them from appearing in the final custard.
2. Incorporate the Wet Ingredients: Crack the large eggs into the dish with the dry ingredients. Add the buttermilk (or milk), vanilla extract, white vinegar (or lemon juice), and the red food coloring.
3. Combine Thoroughly: Whisk everything together vigorously until completely smooth and well combined. Ensure there are no streaks of egg yolk or pockets of cocoa powder remaining. The mixture should be a uniform, vibrant red color. Taste a tiny bit (if comfortable doing so with raw egg) and adjust sweetness or vanilla if desired, although be mindful the food coloring can have a slight taste if overused.

Phase 2: Soak the Bread

1. Dip and Soak: Take one slice of your chosen bread and place it flat into the red velvet custard. Let it soak for about 20-30 seconds per side. The exact time depends on the thickness and staleness of your bread. You want the custard to penetrate the bread but not make it so saturated that it falls apart. Thick, slightly stale bread can handle a slightly longer soak.
2. Avoid Oversoaking: Be careful not to leave the bread soaking for too long, especially if using softer bread like fresh brioche. Oversoaking leads to soggy French toast that’s difficult to handle and cook properly.
3. Set Aside Briefly: As you soak each slice, you can place it on a wire rack set over a baking sheet for a moment. This allows any excess custard to drip off, preventing a messy pan and promoting even cooking. Repeat with the remaining slices of bread.

Phase 3: Cook the French Toast

1. Preheat the Pan: Place a large skillet or griddle over medium heat. Medium heat is crucial – too high and the outside will burn before the inside cooks; too low and the toast will become greasy and potentially dry out.
2. Melt the Butter: Once the skillet is heated, add about 1 tablespoon of butter (and a splash of oil, if using). Allow it to melt and coat the bottom of the pan. It should sizzle gently, not smoke violently.
3. Cook the Slices: Carefully place 2-3 soaked bread slices onto the hot skillet, ensuring not to overcrowd the pan. Cook for approximately 3-5 minutes per side. Look for a beautifully golden-brown, slightly crisp crust. The internal custard should be cooked through – the slice should feel slightly firm, not wet or floppy.
4. Monitor the Heat: Adjust the heat as needed throughout the cooking process. If the toast is browning too quickly, turn the heat down slightly. Add more butter to the pan between batches as needed.
5. Keep Warm (Optional): As batches are cooked, you can transfer the finished French toast to an oven-safe plate or wire rack in a warm oven (around 200°F or 95°C) to keep them warm while you cook the remaining slices.

Phase 4: Prepare the Cream Cheese Glaze

1. Beat the Cream Cheese: While the French toast is cooking or keeping warm, prepare the glaze. In a medium bowl, beat the softened cream cheese with an electric mixer (or by hand with a whisk and some elbow grease) until smooth and creamy. Ensure there are no lumps.
2. Add Sugar and Vanilla: Gradually beat in the sifted powdered sugar until incorporated. Add the vanilla extract and the optional pinch of salt. The mixture will be quite thick at this point.
3. Adjust Consistency: Add the milk or cream, one tablespoon at a time, beating well after each addition, until the glaze reaches your desired drizzling consistency. It should be smooth, pourable, but not watery.
4. Taste and Adjust: Taste the glaze and add more powdered sugar if you prefer it sweeter, or a tiny bit more milk/cream if it’s too thick.

Phase 5: Assemble and Serve

1. Plate the Toast: Arrange 1-2 slices of the warm Red Velvet French Toast on each plate.
2. Drizzle Generously: Using a spoon or a squeeze bottle, generously drizzle the cream cheese glaze over the French toast slices.
3. Garnish (Optional): Add any desired garnishes (see “How to Serve” section below) for extra flair and flavor.
4. Serve Immediately: Red Velvet French Toast is best enjoyed immediately while warm and fresh.